For the Sake of a Dad that Loves His Daughter

Another Reason I Love My Church

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and I am so glad that I am.

Let me tell you why... (Besides the fact that it's Christ's true church.)

This week I prepared a talk and spoke on Sunday. On Wednesday I watched 20 teenage girls perform a dance that I choreographed for them. And tonight I taught 25 older women how to cook 5 holiday breakfast items. All these things I did for my church.

You might be thinking. "Give me a break. All that responsibility sounds like a nightmare!" 

To which I would reply, "Really, it was quite the opposite."

I love this church because it pushes you. It gives you opportunities to develop talents you most likely wouldn't have discovered otherwise. And it teaches you skills you'd be hard pressed to learn anywhere else.

Tonight as I taught women how to cook, other women taught ladies how to sew, how to bake rolls from scratch, how to make furry blankets, how to make teacup candles, how to make festive holiday plates, and more. 

This church has given me opportunities not only to speak and teach in public, but to gain confidence in my ability to speak and teach in public. In this church I have learned how to use a compass, cross stitch,    make a quilt, do family history, lead music, sing with a choir, dress to complement my skin tone, make butter, bake food in a cardboard box, line dance, pull a handcart, and a whole lot more.  

I love this church.

(Insert random photo so this is not an entirely colorless post.)

Sometimes assignments like these can be overwhelming and can seem insignificant and tedious at the time. But this church produces some seriously talented people, and I know it is largely due to the opportunities it gives to its members. Tonight I was entrusted to prepare recipes and ideas that would inspire and motivate women to cook. And I had to motivate women that have been cooking all their lives. They already know all the tricks of the trade. But somehow, with a ton of brainstorming and teamwork with my friend (I didn't do this alone. love you Megs,) and a whole lot of a prayer that we would pull it off... We did it!

The women were inspired. The women were motivated. We had fun. The food was delicious, and now here I am, confident in my abilities and more anxious and excited than ever to cook for years and years for my family. 

I love this church. I always have. And I always will.

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

Two days ago I got a recommendation from a friend. Yesterday I got a library card. Today I started reading the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Even the intro is ingenious. If you are a married woman... read it. If you are a woman that wants to get married... read it. 

My favorite line so far is a quote from a man named Vince. Vince says,

"As a man, I can tell you our needs are simple. We want to be fed, we want our kids mothered, and we want lovin'."

Well put Vince.

Well I can tell you that BJ has been fed. Ellie has been mothered. And as for the rest... mind your own business!

In an Attempt to Adjust my Documentation

I've been writing in a journal for a long time, and I've noticed a pattern in my recording. My romantic heart serves me to a fault in my efforts to document my life. 90% of the time I don't document what is going on every day. I write about my thoughts, and, of course, my feelings. While I realize this isn't entirely bad, I do feel like I sometimes forget about the monumental details of my life. Somehow, I remember random, insignificant days far more than I remember my trip to London my senior year of highschool. I remember days of dating as well as I remember my wedding day.

I'm glad I make an effort to glorify the mundane and find beauty in the monotony of every day living, but sometimes it comes with its drawbacks. I realized the other day while perusing other blogs that I never write about Ellie the way other mom's write about their children. I never share funny stories or milestones about her life. That realization was disappointing to me. So in an attempt to adjust my documentation... here goes...

Perhaps my favorite thing about Ellie is how easy going she is. She has a personality that's naturally happy and content. She doesn't fuss for fussiness' sake. If she's crying there's usually something wrong. She reminds me of a youngest child in the way that she can just go with the flow- something that will serve us well if we get twins next like I suspect.

Ellie is cuddly- another thing I completely adore about her. Again, I see this as a characteristic that will serve as a major advantage when brothers and sisters come along. She loves to hug things, nuzzle into things, and have blankets right next to her face when she sleeps. I see a nurturing side to her already. She is completely obsessed with her bunny. In fact, I think the bunny is about the closest replacement to me that we could get. Most the time, if she has her bunny, she's ok.

Ellie is coordinated. The pediatrician noticed this yesterday within minutes of being in the room. She is skilled with her hands and has incredibly strong legs. She will grab at any and everything when you hold her. Nothing is safe if it's within Ellie's reach.

Ellie is a people person. She doesn't enjoy being left alone. She would rather sit in her chair and watch me blow dry my hair than play in the bedroom by herself while I do that. She loves to be held. She likes all eyes on her too. Blogging is not an easy task with baby in arms. Not because typing with one hand is awkward and slow, but because you can gaurantee (how do you spell that word?!!! I swear I tried 20 different variations!) baby girl will be pulling any trick she can to get your attention: squaking, arching, grabbing, grunting, crying, etc.

Ellie slept through the night at 6 weeks and hasn't slept through the night once since we moved to California. We're working on it. Enough said.

Ellie is a champ though about taking naps. She can fall asleep nearly anywhere. Yesterday I needed to get some stuff done so I laid her down on the carpet with her bunny and her binky, and she literally had fallen asleep within 30 seconds. Adorable I tell you. I wish I would have gotten a picture.

Breastfeeding Ellie is about the funniest thing ever. She has gone through multiple stages of breastfeeding styles. In the beginning she was slow and tired- constantly falling asleep while on the job. She would nuzzle into me, drink for a few seconds and then be gone. This scenario would be repeated over and over again. Cue me nudging, pinching, scratching Ellie to try and get her to wake up. Without much time for transition, Ellie's eating suddenly turned into pure urgency. Grunting like you've never heard before always accompanied Ellie's feedings, along with this crazy head shake she would do every time she'd latch on. Breastfeeding in public was less than discreet when she was on this kick. Now her breastfeeding style bounces back and forth between two: 1. Breastfeeding like she's having lunch with her girlfriends. Suck, suck, suck, suck, come off and talk, talk, talk in a really high, girly voice. Latch back on. Suck, suck, suck, suck, come off and talk, talk, talk, talk. A very feminine way to dine. 2. Breastfeeding like my lap is made out of rocks and twigs. Sometimes she is so fidgety and crazy when I feed her. She sucks for a few seconds and then arches and kicks and grunts like she just can't get comfortable. BJ always asks me when she's eating like this, "What is up with her?" By now I'm used to it and try to stay as relaxed as possible. Every once in a while I get really lucky. Occasionally Ellie eats so peacefully. Drinking away, lying still, and placing her hand gently on me. Breastfeeding like this is so relaxing. We both fall into some kind of milk-induced trance and it is the perfect segway into dreamland.

Ellie is inquisitive. She is curious. She studies everything around her. She loves to hold things. She loves to try anything that I try. If I drink some water, she'll want some water. If I brush my teeth, she'll want to try. The other day I was doing some abdominal exercises- lying on my back with my legs straight up to the ceiling, I lowered them up and down over and over again. She watched me intently for a few seconds and then she seriously tried to do it herself. She's a smart girl she is.

Ellie is a mama's girl... and I'm not complaining!

21 Minor Details

I love bathrobes.

I think Jimmy John's makes the best sandwiches.
I like food way more than my in-laws do.
I don't listen to music when I drive. Just silence.
I'm sad when I put my hand on my belly now that there's not a baby in there.
I don't really know how to work facebook.
I know that my prayers are answered.
If I could have been a gymnast over a dancer I would have been.
I have no birth marks.
I scar terribly.
I have stretch marks.
I don't eat chocolate or carbonation for the time being.
I'd rather buy something for my home than clothes.
Fox news is about the only thing on t.v. that can hold my interest.
Cake with frosting is my favorite food. Not dessert... Food.
I wish I was a book worm, but I have a hard time finishing a novel.
I think exercising and working out are two different things. I prefer exercising.
I'm not a "schedule" type of mom.
My favorite sound in the world is Ellie sucking her binki.
I don't like the word binki or any of its variations.
I like having the excuse that I have "dancer feet," but my feet looked like this before I ever danced.

* Credit to Marilee for this idea. xoxo

Sharing a Miracle

You probably didn't know that the night before Ellie's baby blessing I had an emergency surgery and spent the night in the hospital. You probably didn't know this because we forged ahead and two hours after I was released from the hospital we were hosting a mass of people at my parent's house. You also probably didn't know this because the blessing turned out so beautifully that when I went to blog about it, I didn't want to mention this major hiccup and wind up with the emphasis on me. For this day was about a sweet baby girl and her good, good father. It was a day about family. And it wound up being a story filled with miracles.

We had planned on blessing Ellie on Sunday, July 24th because my entire family was going to be in town. BJ's parents made the trek up from California to be there also, and all seemed perfectly in place for this to happen. Little did I know that what started as a strange stomach ache on Friday night would turn in to a reason for surgery come Saturday.

On Saturday afternoon my Friday night stomach ache had not subsided. In fact, it had intensified to the point that my walking closely mirrored a senior citizen. BJ and I were meeting his parents for a quick lunch before my family's family reunion. Finally I realized the pain I was feeling wasn't normal, and probably wasn't good. I told BJ and he told his parents. BJ's dad perfectly diagnosed my symptoms because he had had appendicitis before and my symptoms were textbook. He knew I should get to a doctor.

 An urgent care center was located just two blocks away from where we were eating lunch. BJ, me, and Ellie quickly headed there. Again the diagnosis: textbook appendicitis.

This was the worst timing. If indeed this was appendicitis, I was going to miss not only my family reunion, but the baby blessing too. I was frustrated and in pain. 

From urgent care we were advised to go to Orem Community Hospital to have some formal testing done. Cat scan, blood work, urine sample, manipulation... the doctors ran the gammut. The cat scan showed major inflammation and finally the diagnosis was sure. I had appendicitis and I needed surgery soon. 

Again we transfered to another hospital with my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew trailing behind for support. This time, the problem was going to be fixed, but it wasn't without a few drawbacks. Firstly, I wasn't going to be able to breastfeed for 24 hours, and Ellie was breastfeeding exclusively. This in and of itself was devastating to me. I was allowed to pump one last time, but I didn't have long. The doctor was there and ready to operate. Secondly, I was nervous to go under anesthesia. What if something went wrong? I was a brand new mother and the idea of something bad happening to me was sickening. I couldn't leave this baby behind. To be totally honest, even the idea of not having her with me that night wasn't thrilling. I had never, ever been apart from her like that. And last of all, the baby blessing actually happening was completely out of the picture by this point. It was all so inconvenient.
BJ and my brother gave me a blessing that left me feeling at peace. I was confident in my doctors, and I was promised that I would be ok and that Ellie would be taken care of.

I went into the operating room and the doctors were cordial. Looking back now, I'm again amazed at how quickly anesthesia works. Count back from ten... 10...9... gone. Waking up from anesthesia felt like I was stuck in a nightmare. I was moaning and fighting for my body to wake up and function. I cried and worried and dug my heels into the bed. I felt out of control and I hated it. I remember being wheeled through hallways into the room I would be sleeping in and vaguely seeing my mom, BJ, and Ellie. I heard my baby crying, and for the first time ever the idea to try and take care of her didn't even cross my mind. I was in a thick fog, completely incoherent.

BJ stayed with me that night. He slept on the tile floor with one sheet and a crappy pillow. The surgery had gone well, and the following morning I was a few hours away from being able to go home. While we waited for the time to pass BJ and I toyed with the idea of going on ahead with the blessing in spite of my barely recovering body. The family was there. BJ had been studying and praying about the blessing for weeks. My mom and I had already planned the menu and purchased all of the groceries for it. We were anxious about the situation as a whole, and decided to bite the bullet. The blessing had to go on!
Upon release from the hospital we made our way home, stopping briefly at RiteAid for some pain killers. BJ showered and got the baby ready, and I hobbled slowly around and managed to assemble my Sunday best and hide the grease in my unwashed hair.
The blessing went off without a hitch. In fact, I think it was the most beautiful baby blessing I have ever heard. It was heartfelt and thoughtful. It was personal and tender. It was an intimate moment with family we loved. I managed to make it through the set-up, the blessing, and the socializing afterward without horrible pain or limitation. I couldn't have been happier. (Aside from having three gaping flesh wounds on my post-delivery baby belly.)
The miracles were woven throughout the tapestry of that crazy weekend. In fact, they started a week before... keep reading... it's about to get good...

Miracle #1: About a week before my surgery, I had decided to start pumping and freezing my breastmilk. I didn't have any specific reason to be doing this. I had stocked up just enough milk to last Ellie the complete 24 hours before I could start feeding her again. My efforts to strictly breastfeed could continue to be successful- something I had prayed over and over again for. But like my Relief Society president said when I told her about this coincidence, "There's no such thing as luck." she said. I know I was prompted by the spirit to do this... not knowing beforehand what it was actually for.
Miracle #2: A couple weeks prior to this time Ellie had become a real mama's girl. She often would would fuss whenever BJ held her and would only let me be the one to do the consoling. On the night of my surgery Ellie suddenly changed her agenda. She wanted dad. When I was coming out of anesthesia BJ wanted to be by my side. My mom was holding Ellie and Ellie would have none of it. She needed to be consoled too, and her dad was the one she wanted for the job. This is when I heard her crying as I was waking up. Ellie was longing for her dad. He of course, was there to comfort her.
Miracle #3: JaLayne was in town and was able to take Ellie for the night so that my mom and dad could host the family reunion at their house. At this point, very few people would I have trusted with my baby overnight. Ellie was an angel for JaLayne, and JaLayne was an angel for us.
Miracle #4: My brother was there to perform a blessing of healing with BJ. What a joy it was to have the confidence and assurance that all would be well. I love my brother.
Miracle #5: Kim knew what was wrong and urged me to go to the hospital. If your appendix ruptures it can be lethal within 24 hrs. My appendix was very inflamed and I hadn't even considered going to the doctor until he suggested it.
Miracle #6: My surgery, overnight hospital stay, cat scan, blood tests, urgent care visit, etc. were all covered by my incredible insurance that I had from being a school teacher. Had this happened a week later, my benefits would have expired and we would have been paying for this out of pocket.
Miracle #7: I felt well enough to not only carry out the baby blessing the next morning, but to enjoy it.
Miracle #8: My sweet mom and sisters arranged the entire thing and made it happen. In spite of our family reunion being at my parent's house the night before, these four women had the entire house cleaned, the food and table prepared in the short amount of time that BJ and I allowed them after we decided we would continue on with the original plans. After their hard work, all I had to do was show up.
Miracle #9: In the midst of this all, I learned to feed my baby while lying down. Something that has proved to be incredibly useful on what would be sleepless nights.
Miracle #10: That overall, the Lord's hand was felt throughout the entire unfolding of this bizarre experience. It was another testimony of His love for me, of His watchful care over me and my small little family.

Another Day, Another Park, Another Picnic

These are my most favorite of days.

It was over ninety degrees outside today, but somehow in the shade it felt just right. After visiting a friend we picked up some lunch and headed to a park. We laid on a blanket for over an hour, rolling, playing, looking up at the trees, and listening to the birds sing. I think they all flew here for the winter.

 I love being outside. And I love that I'll be able to picnic like this year round here. Ellie enjoyed her lunch too. I hadn't seen a person in sight so I wasn't concerned about being modest while breastfeeding. Cue forty year-old man walking his golden retriever.

See you again soon you lazy afternoon.

These Photos Needed a Home

No explanation today. I'd rather join Ellie for a nap date.

Snug Bugs

I couldn't resist. I bought Ellie a toy at the store today. The brand "B." is perfectly enticing to the mother of a wee one. I'm already scheming about the rest of the "B." line and how we can get it to rest under our tree come Christmas morning. Below is a video of Ellie with her "B." Snug Bugs. I don't mind that the recommend age on the box was 10 months- 3 years. She seemed interested enough to me.

A Polite Request

BJ and I have been asked to speak about "Hope" this Sunday in church. If you know of any good scriptures, talks, stories, or quotations on this subject would you mind leaving your comment below?

Thank you kindly.

Friday! Friday!

Friday we celebrated Rikki Lynn's 25th birthday with her at Cheesecake Factory. She is gorgeous and about the sweetest person you'll ever meet. She pampered BJ throughout highschool and college before I came along to take care of him. She made his egg sandwiches, cheered him at his soccer games, and let him drive her nice big truck.  

Now she's turned her love and care to baby Ellie. She bought her a darling outfit that we dolled her up in every time we had somewhere important to go. Her grandma made Ellie a handmade blanket, and wore a "Stand with Mitt Romney" shirt last night. In basically every way,  we love Rikki and her family. 

The delicious dinner (beets with goat cheese and avocado eggrolls,) the decadent birthday cake, and the delightful company made for a fabulous Friday night.

I look like a very vain mother in this picture covering Ellie's face like that. Woops.

Brusha Brusha Brusha

Most mornings I hold Ellie while I brush my teeth. And most mornings, she swats and reaches and opens her mouth wide so she can experience this whole toothbrushing experience too. She now has her own toothbrush resting in our toothbrush cup that she uses right along with me. Like mother, like daughter you might say. Her dental hygienist auntie would be proud. (We love you Shalice. :)

Looks Like a Saturday Morning to Me

One of my favorite things about staying home with my baby girl is that I no longer have days of the week discrimination. I used to despise Mondays. As a result, Sunday nights were bittersweet as well. Thursdays were exciting because the weekend was around the corner. But when Saturday morning rolled around I felt my precious free time quickly slipping through my fingers. Now, every day of the week (except Sundays) are one in the same. I'm at liberty to do with each day what I will- to some extent.

Two nights ago Ellie was NOT sleeping well, and when the early morning rolled around she was not content to lie around anymore. I had to get up and get that girl out of bed. We ended up on the couch, and I... gulp... forced my four and a half month old daughter to watch t.v.!!! There was a channel specifically for babies and it sucked her right in. The joke was on me though. Even though the t.v. was completely occupying Ellie's attention I couldn't relax and rest because I was getting too much of a kick out of her. 

Little Pumpkin

I found my new favorite thing about fall.

Let Me Inform You- Yorba Linda Style

Did you know this about Yorba Linda, California?

-Richard Nixon was born here.

-It's where Beejer and Me and Ellie Layne live.

-Its alias is "Land of Gracious Living"

-It was ranked 21st among the best places to live according to CNN.

-The month that BJ & I got married (Nov. 2008) natural fires destroyed 113 homes, & damaged 50.

-BJ's parent's back and front yards were burned without any damage to the home itself. (They do not live in one of these waterfront homes. :)

-The yearly average temperature is 63 degrees fahrenheit. 

-Yorba Linda does not have its own police department. We borrow from Brea.

-BJ would happily live here for the rest of his life. (I would too.)

and last but not least...

-The median home cost in Yorba Linda, California is $624,400 so we will have a nearly impossible time sticking around. Thanks to Kim and JaLayne for providing the nicest and freest apartment we will ever live in.

Afternoon Playtime

After breaking two cameras in the last year I have resorted to using BJ's camera that he used on his mission. It is outdated and severely limited in its capabilities. Nonetheless, it does take videos. I utilized this avant garde feature for the first time the other day. This video makes me happy. Hopefully if makes you happy as well.

Ellie Dear

I love you so. 

Your happy, smiling face is such a joy to look at.

You make the world a better place.

Megan Took this Photo... and I Love It.

My Favorite Morning Science Yet

I cannot get over my fascination for these misty morning we have here. The day before I left to Utah I went for a walk in the early morning. I walked the nearby hills with Ellie in the sling and the camera in my hand. I was gone for over an hour and a half because I simply could not stop snapping photos. It was a dewy, still morning and I didn't want it to end. I had the quiet company of my sleeping baby and my thoughts. I wished I could have invited any and everyone to join me on that morning walk because the beauty of the moment was indescribable. But then I thought about how I would have to carry on a conversation with whoever I was walking with and then I don't know if I'd have enjoyed my walk nearly as much. So I guess what I'm saying is... I'm glad you weren't there with me. But I am very glad that I have these pictures to share with you. Yorba Linda is beautiful. Enjoy.

Oxymoron

It started out as one of those days. You know the kind... Ellie did not sleep well. I woke up groggy and dazed. I held Ellie by the arm and sat up to entertain her. Not too long after that she was in tears. Hard tears. Her arm had been pulled out of the socket. It was limp and ineffective. She couldn't reach for a toy or even grasp onto my finger. Her arm seemed dead. I, of course, was in tears and muttering prayer after desperate prayer in my head- images flashing across my mind of Ellie learning to dance and run with only one working arm. BJ scrambled and had everyone in the household looking up phone numbers of medicine men, nurses, chiropractors, old pediatricians, and insurance agents. Luckily our insurance activated on October first. Luckily we got an appointment at St. Jude's even though they only had two doctors in the office that day. We:

drove to the hospital

missed the turn

flipped around

missed the entrance

flipped around again

ran through the rain

wandered around to find the correct suite

tried twice to sign in 

changed Ellie's enormous blow-out

carried Ellie around the hospital on a cold, wet day in just her diaper

accidentally pinched Ellie's stomach with her binki clip

And in the middle of all this hooplah...

Her arm was fixed by a sweetheart doctor. She was all smiles from then on out. Her arm and hand work beautifully again. She didn't care a bit that she didn't have any clothes on. BJ not having work today turned out to be a miracle in disguise. Now the cold, rainy weather is enjoyable because we can hang out together inside. We don't have a single obligation tonight. Bad days almost always get better.

Conference Favorites

I had an institute teacher in college who quoted President Harold B. Lee saying, 

"We should let these conference addresses be the guide to our walk and talk for the next six months."

When I heard those words four years ago I felt an immediate determination to try to do just that. I haven't forgotten those words of President Kimball's. I make an effort to study the words of General Conference and live by the precepts I hear. I know peace flows into my life as a result of doing my best to follow God's prophet.

Last conference I was eight months pregnant listening to the words of our leaders from snowy Park City with my sweet husband by my side. I cried and cried as I listened to Richard G. Scott speak so lovingly about his wife and children. I was grateful for the reassurance he gave me as I was setting out into the world of motherhood. He said,

"As a mother you have been given divine instincts to help you sense your child's special talents and unique capacities. With your husband you can nurture, strengthen, and cause those traits to flower."

My favorite words from this conference again had me emotional. Elaine S. Dalton made my heart swell when she prophetically declared,

"The most important thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother."

I can't imagine much better than having a sweet baby girl. I'm grateful for a prophet and other church leaders who broaden my own understanding of how to raise a child well. I'm grateful for a husband that loves his daughter and wife.

And my final favorite words of this conference come from our very own prophet, 

President Thomas S. Monson:

"Do we wring our hands in despair and wonder how we'll ever survive in such a world? No. 

Indeed, we have in our lives the gospel of Jesus Christ."

I love this church. I always have. I always will. It is true. It is correct. And it will bring you happiness.

Hey Dad...

Guess who's excited to see you?

Photo Dump

Here's the rest of my Utah pictures. How cute are my dad's new glasses? Farewell Utah. 'Til next time.