A few matters of business

Item #1:

Ellie took her first steps on her own yesterday. She did it once in the morning and twice at night, about 4-5 steps each time. I clapped and yelled so hard the first time I saw it I practically scared her to death. She cried and I held her- proud as could be of my little baby.

Item #2:

Ellie is going to be nine months old on Sunday. 

nine months old!!!

When did this happen? How did my little baby grow so fast?

Item #3:

I saw The Vow last night and was sorely disappointed. Rachel, my favorite actress, you really let me down.

Item #4:

Babysitting went well, except for the fact that Ellie could not sleep that night. It was probably the worst night of sleep I've ever had- including when Ellie was a newborn and my milk came in and I had to wake up every two hours to pump and nurse. Seriously, I think this night was worse. But the other kids were great. It made me think about how Ellie could really use a sibling or two.

Item #5:

Ellie's jelly shoes finally fit. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

I don't know why, but I loved my baby today more than I ever have. I cried tonight as I nursed her and rocked her to sleep. That baby has done something magical to me. She will always be my baby girl. She will always hold a special place in my heart for making me a mother, but more so just for being her. She is such a special girl.

It was a rollercoaster today, 

but I love my baby.

Wish me luck!

Tomorrow and the next day I will temporarily be the mother of five
 children. I'll be watching my sister-in-law's children at her home with Ellie at my side. I be picking up children from school, running the babies to the park, cooking dinner, nursing sick children while trying to keep Ellie healthy, packing lunches, putting kids to bed (gulp,) and doing five hairs of head in the morning (counting mine, Ellie's, and Courtney's three girls.) Should I be scared?

...............................

I am obnoxiously excited about my new phone, primarily because now I can use instagram. I think I posted 10 pictures before 9 a.m. this morning. The people following me are probably second guessing their judgement about now. My favorite instagram photos of the day (it is hard to narrow it down):

 hope you had a good one.

This’ll get ya...

today on my sister in law's blog she wrote:

I love when our eyes meet

across the messy,

toy-filled living room,

and we smile at each other

like we're the luckiest couple

in the world.........

Because we are.

that made me cry- i know the feeling.
(poem via Em's blog, via Pinterest)

Today I got an iphone!

I am thrilled. ellie is too because now she gets to have my old phone for keeps.

bj is not as thrilled because he had to fork out $257... and he's also a little jealous of my iphone 4gs. he's gonna regret getting a droid... i just know it.

 

i can finally be welcomed into the instagram club. i've been waiting so long for that. 

you can find me on instagram @ ellerypugmire

hope your day was lovely. 

I'm so happy about my new phone i practically feel like i'm flying.

over and out.

“Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.” 

–Bible Dictionary

.

a little background

Beejer stands for my husband: BJ Pugmire. He is one year my elder. He is an athlete. He is a little boy in almost every way. He treats me with more sensitivity than anyone I've ever known, and that is my favorite thing about him.

I named the blog Beejer and Me because I knew the blog would be about me and my life, and my life is comprised of the days I share with him.

I blog because I love to write, and because my blog holds me accountable to take pictures of my life- something I was horrible at before, and something that still takes an unnatural amount of effort on my end.

I write what I think, which usually involves my husband, my baby, my future babies, my home, or food. Those are things I care the most about.

I love beautiful things. I love feminine things. I love being a wife, a homemaker, and a mother, and this is my space to write about it.

Note to Self...

Letting Ellie grab fist-fulls of cottage cheese to self-feed is a messy endeavor- proceed with caution.

A New Discovery

I've never been the most social person in the world. In high school I had three girlfriends. They were my best friends and we still get together as often as we can manage- what with Stephanie living in Johannesburg, South Africa, McKenzie busy as a mother of two, Liz living her newly engaged, 6th grade teaching life, and myself greatly distanced in California. 

I had essentially one friend in college. We lived together. We danced together. We drove to Mesa, Phoenix, and Scottsdale together. Our professors often called us the wrong name, me: Becca, her: Ellery. Even a dance instructor that never taught us at the same time, who didn't know we came as a package deal, called her Ellery one day in class.

I just haven't been a girl that felt like she needed a lot of friends. 

BJ obviously is my right hand man now; the person that I do everything with. But it literally wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I came to a realization:

Life is a lot more fun with friends.

Of course BJ and I have had our couple friends: Brian and Cat (sniff, sniff- we miss you,) and also Tanner and Megan. But me, myself, I haven't spent much time making girlfriends until recently.

There are a lot of young moms in our ward and we've been having so much fun together:

planning dinner parties, going on "fieldtrips" together each Friday, yoga class in the basement at night, girls nights, library dates, and bookclub. It took me a while to put my finger on, but having girlfriends, especially as a new mother, is essential.

I'm feeling a lot more at home here in California, and I think it's largely due to the fact that I have my own friends now. Having friends here solidifies me in my surroundings and I don't feel so much like I'm just here on vacation anymore. 

Ellie's got a few good buddies here now too, and though for the most part she is unable to interact with them, she always breathes really hard in excitement initially upon seeing them, and then reaches out to grab any body part she can get, leaning in to give a big, slobbery, open-mouth kiss.

Today I Became an Official Californian

I now own a California driver's license. Pretty weird huh?

................................................................

After the cookie fiasco yesterday I decided to buckle down and provide my body with some nutritious food. My sweet tooth has been out of the roof lately. Who am I kidding? My self-control has been non-existent, my sweet tooth is always around. Anyway, after a trip to the DMV, a morning of laundry, and a trip to my favorite grocery store, dinner was prepared.

BJ exclaimed that the sweet potato fries were my best yet, and indeed, they were!  Ellie loved 'em too. We threw them to her across the room to content her so we could eat in peace.

 If you have a Trader Joe's nearby, go buy the Sweet Potato Frites in the freezer section. They'll probably be your best sweet potato fries yet too! Not soggy like my homemade ones, they're nice and crunchy, just like the ones you get in the restaurants. 

Over and out!

I'm Happy It's February

Whether or not the month of January is good for me, it always feels like the longest month of the year. It's such a welcome relief when February 1st rolls around. It feels like I just finished the cardio segment of my workout, or tendus from fifth position at the barre in ballet class. Whether or not January turns out well; I'm always glad when it's over.

I think part of the relief is actually just excitement to see Valentine's decorations displayed at home and cinnamon hearts on sale at the grocery store. I think February is a seriously under-rated month. I heart Valentine's Day. I think it is the cutest holiday of the year.

Due to my unrelenting sweet tooth, and my corny desire to create a Valentine's-themed photo shoot, I made red velvet whoopie pies today. I am satisfied to conclude that my baking skills are improving... I'm finally learning how to turn out a decent cookie.

Speaking of Valentine's day, have you seen the previews for "The Vow?" I love Rachel McAdams, so this movie is already on our Valentine's Day agenda.

Over and out.

My Baby Felt Like a Baby Today

Ellie woke up today and was in the mood to cuddle. She stayed in that mood for the remainder of the day, and as a result, stayed in my arms or lap for the majority of it. She didn't squirm and reach to explore and boast her independence, she just stayed quietly in my arms. I must have kissed her chubby cheeks at least 400 times. Oh it felt good to me a mother today.

Lately I've been a little freaked out by how old Ellie is seeming. She's on the road to walking, completely bypassing the option to crawl, and I'm already fine-tuning the details of her first birthday party (still a few months away... I'm getting ahead of myself.) I'm loving how her personality blossoms as she gets older, how I can now see her hill-billy teeth as they break through the gums, and how what used to be a gentle giggle is now a full-fledged laugh from deep in her gut. But I'm sad that the "baby" stage is such a fleeting moment. My baby is gonna be a toddler before I know it. 

I just hope there are plenty more days like today... days where all she wants is to rest in the arms of her mama. I don't care if she's eight months old or eighteen years. I'll always welcome days like today.

"How much do I love you?"

I'll tell you no lie.

How deep is the ocean?

How high is the sky?

How many times in a day 

do I think of you?

How many roses 

are sprinkled with dew?

How far would I travel

just to be where you are?

How far is the journey

from here to a star?

And if I ever lost you

How much would I cry?

How deep is the ocean?

How high is the sky?"

-Etta James

Yesterday I...

helped, encouraged, and monitored Ellie while she cruised (held onto things and walked) around the apartment,

 and made pizza,

and that basically sums up my day.

Just For the Record

I like to cook for my husband. I do. I like to cook in general, and it just so happens that my husband would be hopelessly hungry and skinny if I didn't cook for him. (BJ has a way of getting what he wants- in a very non-creepy, non-male-chauvinistic way- from the women around him. His mom started the trend... his sisters gave in a time or two... I came along... and now even my mom makes him sandwiches and guacamole and always makes sure there are goldfish and gatorades in the house for him.) BJ has a very childlike nature and has such an endearing personality about him that all of sudden, in all your effort to help him grow up and thrive independently like a big 25 year-old man...

 WHAM!!!

You find yourself doing menial tasks for him that he could so easily (and should so easily) do for himself. Like: packing him a lunch every day for work, bringing him a glass of chocolate milk in bed at night, cleaning out his closet time and time again, and pulling off his cowboy boots for him at the end of the day. I say this all because I know I blog a lot about cooking for my husband, but it should be known...

I am not a perfect wife.

Now, this goes without saying that I try very hard to be a wonderful wife because my husband treats me well, he is a good man, and he deserves that, but alas, I am definitely not perfect.

I believe in old fashioned male and female roles to some extent. I have a great, big opinion about staying in the home now that I'm a mom, so I think it's only fair that if my husband agrees to work hard every day and bring home money for our family, then I should be willing to pull my side of the load by keeping house, and cooking. That, and the fact that being a homemaker is all I've always wanted to do.

My greatest fear about having children was that mine and BJ's relationship would suffer. I didn't want us to grow apart. I knew I was gonna put a lot of effort, energy, time, and attention into raising our children, and I didn't want to lose the closeness that BJ and I had with each other.

 All my life my dad has said "I love you" innumerably to me. There wasn't a day that went by growing up that I didn't hear those words from him. I remember being absolutely offended one day when my dad admitted that he loved my mom more than he loved me. "What???!!!!" I was outraged! But then I thought about it... and reason began to settle. I learned a great lesson from my dad that day.

Children have a parent's heart in a way that is indescribable. But the relationship between a husband and wife is the most important relationship to cultivate in a family. Children must come second.

Perhaps this is why I spend so much of time preparing meals for BJ. I want him to feel that my entire day is not solely devoted to Ellie. Men are simple creatures and really only want a few things. They want to be fed, they want be praised (even if just in subtle ways- i.e. BJ prefers my time to verbal affirmation,) and they want lovin'. 

I am not a perfect wife,  but I try every single day to be a great one.

BJ needs a woman to feed him, and I'm sure as heck gonna make sure that I'm that woman.