DESPERATE

Today I've been waiting for something amazing, exciting, or wonderful to come and knock me off my feet, and so far, it hasn't come. Unless, of course, you include the woman at school who asked me, "when are you due... any day now?" Ya lady... just 49 "any day now(s)" away!

  My back has been in knots ALL day....and I really just feel like eating a huge piece of chocolate cake and going to bed.

Hope your day has been equally glamorous.

Q & A

What do you do to make your house a home?

I clean mine, decorate mine, rearrange mine, organize mine, de-junkify mine, cook good things in mine, love in mine, clean mine again, say prayers of gratitude for mine, hang wreaths on the outside of mine, and reflect back on the time before I had mine when I used to dream about this time... and now here I am, standing in my kitchen using my beautiful pots and pans, changing sheets for a bed that I share, and moving things all around to prepare for our newest addition. 

I hope you love your home, because you know, if you make it so...

the home can be the holiest place on the earth.

And now a photo of mine...

RETHINKING MY AMBITION

BJ and I were kindly given a free crib from his soccer coach. Being me, and having an insatiable desire to create precisely the kind of nursery I see in my dreams, the crib was destined for a makeover. After much searching online for the perfect end result, the project began this weekend. I worked for a few hours on it on Saturday and got maybe 1/30 of the way done. I think I may have bit off more than I can chew with this one.

Documentation of the bare bones, and the lady who's about to lose it:

Hopefully come May 19th, I will have a crib that I'm proud of and still some hair left on my head. This is gonna be a doozey folks.

YOURS TRULY

My dear BYU basketball team,

 I want to say thank you for all of the wonderful evenings of entertainment and excitement you have provided us with this year. I would also like to thank you for the sense of pride and enthusiasm you have created nationwide in the great institution of Brigham Young University.

I want you to know that my response to my husband's inquiry of, "Are you sad you didn't marry Jimmer?" still remains a no, although I do love that famous #32 in  my own special way. It should be made known that even my unborn child cheers when we're watching a BYU basketball game- she punches and kicks and flips with the best of cheerleaders. This has been a season to never forget. Win or lose tonight, we won't forget this basketball season legacy.

Sincerely,

Ellery Pugmire

p.s.- If you do win tonight... We'll love you even more!

p.p.s.- Please Win.

TIME OUT

Yesterday evening was a relaxing and enjoyable one. Beejer and me laid in bed after dinner and watched a movie together and then headed out for a Golden Spoon just to give us something to do. As we drove the ten minutes to get there, I thought about how in not much time at all impromptu outings aren't going to be nearly as easy as they are now. These two and a half years of independence with Beej have been so wonderful, filled with tons of fun times out, and even more lazy times in. As long as he's by my side, I'm exactly where I want to be.

REM CYCLE

Beejer and me have been blessed with the good fortune of being terrific sleepers.

(This photo was taken in Lake Powell two days after we got engaged.)

In fact, we're both such good sleepers, it's not uncommon to find us dozing off in unusual places at unusual times. I often nap in my car in between errands and in my classroom on my lunch break at school. Beejer's mom recently bought BJ a shirt that says, "I live for my afternoon nap." The shirt doesn't even fit him, but she thought it basically summed up his mantra in life. And I'd have to say- it sums up mine as well.

In fact, last year I went through a time where I was really tentative about the idea of having a baby just because I knew that having a kid meant I couldn't rely on my afternoon nap whenever I was tired. I just wasn't ready to give that up! But, whether I like it or not, some things are more important than sleep.

Luckily during my pregnancy in spite of the limited sleep positions, kicking baby, and freakin' crazy dreams, I have discovered a way to still be able to sleep like a champ. 

It starts with a...

"pre-bed time"

and ends with a...

"bath."

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Last week as I was driving to school I heard statistics given on an early morning talk show that I haven't been able to forget about since. Apparently, some study was recently conducted to find which US cities are the most involved in social networking (involving facebook, twitter, blogging,ect.) Salt Lake City ranked in the top ten of most social network savvy. Although this data surprised me, the information that was given at the end of the segment is the part I haven't been able to forget. After stating rankings for Salt Lake City and a few others among the top ten, they listed El Paso, Texas as the least involved social networking city in the US. Now for the kicker... They then said (roughly quoting), "What researchers said about this statistic is not that El Paso is living in the dark ages, but that 

THEY ARE JUST AS CONTENT LIVING THEIR OFFLINE LIVES AS THEY ARE LIVING THEIR ONLINE LIVES."

I have a complex relationship with social networking. Sometimes blogging is really fulfilling, gratifying, and fun. And other times- I get all twisted up inside when I think about. Because, you know, sometimes I find myself seeking for validation through my blog. It's as if I can't possibly experience anything exciting without having my camera there with me to document my upcoming blog post. And then at other times, I try to make things that really aren't exciting or interesting come to life by forcing unnatural photographs and trying to summon rousing words about things that typically are dull and boring.

I like to write. I like to have a reason to take pictures because otherwise- I would NEVER use my camera and document memories that I cherish. I also like to fiddle around on the computer sometimes and develop new technological skills. However, I do not like that at times my blog makes me feel as if I have to prove to you readers that my life is indeed cool, and worthwhile.

Because I know it is. Sometimes my online life becomes my vehicle to prove that I am content with my offline life. Which really... kind of defeats the purpose. Or does it?

"I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight dear void." -Meg Ryan, You've Got Mail

Things in my "offline" life that make me content:

 friends that I adore and see every weekend

this guy

carrying a baby

things that make a home look pretty

signs of spring

dancing 5th graders

dreams of summer

men that inspire my husband to be even better

tears for family that I love and miss so much it hurts

dreams of being a mama

all things bright and beautiful

DO YOU BYU?

Verse 1: Mighty Quinn

(Hey Mighty Quinn) Wassup? (Can you teach me how to Jimmer?)
Well sit back and relax and just let this thought simmer, cause it seems that these days even Utah fans be gushing, and a you, you, you, you’re all man crushin. (ok)
Jimmer Fredette, (hey) Nuttin but net, crazy in a daze, no defense can faze, 30 footers he raises, always amazes,
nuttin but praise, T.J. taught him in phazes.
Boy is the truth! (how do you know?) Cause Nelly said it, he’s the real King James (what should I do?)
Just Fredette it.
P.O.Y.’s comin go handle your business, supposedly the best, whatchu talkin about Willis?
Don’t be talking trash cause ya know that he’s a winner so Tre’von, Dairese, Kawhi, and Jiggy (GET JIMMERED!)
Even Wild Bill be blushin like a Portly Pirate Poet sayin (I’m in love and I just don’t care who knows it!)

Verse 2: KMC (Kalin Curran)

His mother named him Jimmer, he likes to bring the hammer, he kinda does a shimmer, he’s not much of a jammer, rise and shout they sing, he’s got you on a string,
he’s not much into bling , except for CTR rings,
Stopping, poppin, dudes blowing your mind,
Droppin dimes or even just getting to the line,
No comeback needed when Jimmers on the floor,
he’s ahead of the game fans storming the court,
Fellas think they can stop him talkin trash now you got your wish,ball don’t lie what you just heard was a swish,
nothing comes out when they moving their lips,
just a- just a- just a- just a bunch of Jimmer-ish.
They all love him, man woman and child,
Cause the 40 point games it be driving them wild,
best believe he’s getting 50, nifty, with a shifty flow,
Houston -Vegas -Provo welcome to the Jimmer show.

Verse 3: Definit (Sean Curran)

Jimmers in the game now ya really wish you wasn’t,
Now he’s hittin treys – Fredette about it cousin,
numbers don’t lie can’t bet against a winner,
Even Vegas sinners put their money on jimmer,
the fears in your eye so step aside junior,
Ricky Bobby couldn’t handle this cougar,
put you in a stretcher best believe you’ll need a suture,
Flying down the court somebody yell shooter!
Forget mountain dew I’m all jacked up on jimmer,
best scorer in the world check Kevin Durants twitter,
Coast to coast who loves him the most, huh?
Chuck Norris even has a Jimmer poster
32 your my hero yes yall heard me,
Superman sleeps in a (what) jimmer jersey,
now what I’m about to say just might sound crazy,
can you be the surrogate for my baby?

Verse 4: Young Sim (Simeon Lawrence)

Look I know I’m a UTE fan but let me get a few bars,
Never been a hater I admit he’s a true star.
Hardly agree when it comes to red & blue.
But on the real you could catch me doing the Jimmer too.
Fade away, jumpshot, off the pick, nice arch -
6’2″ guard he could take you off the dribble,
Probably shouldnt foul his free throw is official,
You could probably slow him down if you good with the officials, and 1 calls man i hardly heard the whistles,
So the fans – upset water bottles to the refs.
And im a keep it real, best guard in the west.
(WEST?! POY man, Jimmer Fredette) 

 

-Lyrics to Feel Good Music Coalition's, "Teach Me How to Jimmer" via bluelyrics.net

my current favorite song

A WAYS TO GO

I had a dream last week that I went into labor. I was in the hospital with all the anticipation of meeting my sweet girl, hospital gown on, lying in my hospital bed straining through each contraction, BJ and moms by my side when all of a sudden...

Ellie decided she wanted to stay in a little longer.

I had to return home from the hospital with this baby stilling taking up residence in my abdominal region. What. A. Bust.

I wonder if that dream has any special meaning or significance? Like maybe I'm really, really, really anxious to get this show on the road and live my new life with my baby at home. Maybe. Maybe.

But I guess for right now I'm a little more needed at work, dancing with 8 year-olds to Justin Bieber all day long. I guess baby'll come soon enough. Right now I'll enjoy these last two months just the way they are, Justin Bieber and all.

IN TUNE

In week 31 of pregnancy, I'm finding the need to listen to my body to be more critical than ever. With weird and unfamiliar things going on inside my body, I find myself most comfortable and happy to be pregnant when I wisely navigate what's going on on the outside of my body. For example...

Exercise is now something that I use as a means to make my body feel better vs. the sentence of obligation I viewed "working out" as before. I know that with the right amount of activity (stretching, toning, strengthening, and cardio,) that I sleep better at night and my back doesn't get as tight and garbled.  Walks, yoga, and pilates are my activities of choice (in addition to dancing around with elementary school kids all day)- especially when my walks include beautiful almost-spring scenery and weather, and when my prenatal pilates includes dim candle-lit lighting.

photos from my walk yesterday:

Healthy eating is essential, especially when you're eating as often as I am. An empty stomach is dangerous territory and always ends with an ugly result...like throwing up in front of a whole class of first graders. :) -pardon the disgusting details.

To avoid packing on too many pounds, I've been sticking to a goal of only eating sweets one day a week. I know it's helping, but it's still frustrating to know the scale will inevitably continue to rise. Can't I just stay here? I like this amount of weight, I can handle this amount of weight. It's pretty hard to imagine what my body's gonna be like in two months given where it's at right now. Accepting weight gain is a very complex juxtaposition for a girl to be in, even when it's in the name of making a baby.

 

Grape juice is mine and BJ's current obsession. When I got sick about a month and a half ago, this is the only thing that sounded good. I think I literally subsisted on grape juice for those 4 days I was sick. We haven't gone back since. Grape juice or bust at the Pugmire house.

Most importantly of all is the sleep you get (or don't) when you're pregnant. If you've heard rumors about body pillows and pregnant women- believe them. Last night BJ and I slept with a total of seven pillows in our bed. A good night's sleep is worth more than gold and is a lot easier to come by when you prepare for it well. For me that includes: exercising enough during the day, having my reading and journal writing done long before bedtime, an adequate supply of pillows to be able to cram and jam into any crevice where additional support is needed, and the other night- a soak in the bath was the perfect segway into dreamland.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to grow a baby in my belly. The process has been strange and fascinating- so fun to experience for myself after hearing years and years worth of other women's experiences. I pray every night to thank my Heavenly Father for my healthy body. I feel great, and I feel blessed for this time when I can really appreciate the complexities and miracles of my body.

MY FAVORITE AUTHOR

A FEW YEARS AGO I HAPPENED UPON A GIFT THAT HAD BEEN GIVEN TO MY MOM FOR HER BIRTHDAY FROM ONE OF HER CLOSE FRIENDS. THE GIFT WAS A BOOK UNLIKE ONE I'D EVER SEEN. INSIDE THERE WAS A SMORGASBORD OF CONTENT: RECIPES, QUOTES, STORIES, JOURNAL ENTRIES, ADVICE, REAL HANDWRITING, AND WATERCOLOR PICTURES. THIS BOOK CAPTURED MY HEART IMMEDIATELY. I HAVE A GREAT DESIRE TO READ AND LOVE TO POUR OVER PAGES OF INSPIRATION- BUT I HAVE RARELY FOUND A NOVEL THAT I ENJOY READING. I LIKE MAGAZINES, I LIKE POETRY, AND I LIKE ANY OTHER LITERATURE THAT ALLOWS ME TO QUICKLY JUMP FROM ONE SUBJECT TO THE NEXT. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SUSAN BRANCH HAD TO OFFER ME.

THIS FIRST SUSAN BRANCH BOOK I READ STILL REMAINS MY FAVORITE OF ALL. "GIRLFRIENDS FOREVER" IS A PRICELESS BOOK TO OWN. YOU WILL READ, AND RE-READ ITS PAGES OVER AND OVER AGAIN- AMAZED EACH TIME THAT YOU'RE ENJOYING IT JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DID THE LAST TIME.

Susan Branch oozes her love for homemaking and all things womanly in everything she writes. I love her. She inspires me, and brings so much beauty to the world. 

Visit her website at www.susanbranch.com to see if you like her as much as I do. If you do, and I have a sneaky feeling you just might, you can buy her books online and in some bookstores. 

Enjoy!