March 9, 2012

Motherhood Is...

A blog I follow is having an essay contest on the subject, "Motherhood Is..."
 I like to write, and I'm a mother, so I have been thinking a lot about this subject and what it is that I would say about motherhood if I were to enter that essay contest. 
I've tried to identify a definitive answer to the question, "What is motherhood?" If I could choose one word, and word only to describe this journey I've been on for the last eighteen months of my life, (I'm counting pregnancy here) what would it be?
Every day I came up with a new answer, something I felt fairly represented my experience up until that point, but nothing settled. No one answer seemed to have any sort of lasting validity. The only answer I came across that seemed to illustrate my feelings of being a mother was "rollercoaster."
Motherhood is... a rollercoaster.
It is. But that answer sounded cheesy.
Had you asked me to fill in the blank yesterday around 2:30 p.m. I would have said,
"Motherhood is a nightmare." Two hours later, however, as I held Ellie's hand as she waded in the shallow end of the swimming pool, soaking the bottom of her rolled-up light pink leggings, I would have said motherhood was joyful. It's always changing you see.
What I've realized is that motherhood is everything. It is fun, and completely mundane. It is relaxed and easy, and terribly stressful. It is triumphant. It is boring. It is emotional. It is tiring. It is beautiful, and exciting. It is monotonous. Motherhood is time consuming. Motherhood is confusing. Motherhood is the most purposeful thing I have ever pursued. I've realized that in motherhood, everything good about it has its equal opposition, just like any worthwhile pursuit.
Motherhood, I've found, is everything.
Motherhood is everything.

6 comments:

  1. as always, well said ellery. xo

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  2. "I've realized that in motherhood, everything good about it has its equal opposition, just like any worthwhile pursuit." I couldn't agree more. Loved reading this post. I hope you get chosen!

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  3. You should enter. This post is beautiful and true.

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  4. elle, you're so beautiful! i loved this post! enter enter enter!!!

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  5. Well said. I've been feeling all those things lately. I can't believe Ellie! She looks so big, almost toddlerish....not a baby! Love you!

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  6. And why aren't you entering this competition? I loved this post! I am right there with you on every description. You are spot on. Motherhood IS boring, stressful and emotional but mostly it brings me so much joy. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks it is tiring though because I was starting to think there is something wrong with me! You're beautiful and an amazing mommy. xoxo

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