CORRESPONDENCE

DEAR ELLERY,

 WILL YOU PLEASE NEVER FORGET HOW SENDING SOMEONE A NOTE CAN COMPLETELY CHANGE THEIR DAY?

REMEMBER HOW LAST WEEK WHEN YOU FOUND A HANDWRITTEN LETTER IN YOUR BOX FROM MRS. SEEGMILLER IT BRIGHTENED YOUR ATTITUDE AND MADE YOU HAPPY TO BE AT SCHOOL. AND REALIZE THE POWER THOSE WORDS STILL HAVE, AND WHY THAT'S THE REASON YOU'RE STILL CARRYING THAT LETTER WITH YOU IN YOUR PURSE. LEARN FROM MRS. SEEGMILLER, SEND A NOTE WHEN YOU FEEL SO INCLINED WHETHER IT'S TO THANK, OR APOLOGIZE, WISH A HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OR SAY HI.

DON'T FORGET HOW IN COLLEGE YOUR ADORABLE ROOMMATE WOULD LEAVE YOU NOTES ON YOUR CAR THAT WOULD MAKE YOU LAUGH AND SMILE. 

ALWAYS REMEMBER THE WAY YOU CRIED WHEN YOU FOUND A LETTER WAITING AT HOME FOR YOU WHEN BJ WAS OUT OF TOWN.

REMEMBER HOW YOUR ROOMMATE MADE A BOOK OF ALL THE CARDS AND NOTES SHE'S EVER RECIEVED BECAUSE THEY MEANT THAT MUCH TO HER.

THINK OF LETTERS AND CARDS LIKE SMILES. IT'S EASY TO GIVE EM AWAY- AND THEY WILL NO DOUBT BRIGHTEN SOMEONE'S DAY.

DON'T FORGET THE LETTERS THAT YOUR DAD WROTE TO YOU EVERY CHRISTMAS-AND HOW HIS HONEST AND ELOQUENT WORDS SOFTENED YOUR HEART AND SET THE TONE FOR A COZY HOLIDAY AT HOME.

THINK BACK ON THE HUNDREDS OF CARDS SENT AT CHRISTMAS TIME. YOU KNOW ALL TOO WELL HOW STRESSFUL THEY ARE TO SEND, TRACKING DOWN THE CORRECT ADDRESSES IS A PROCESS TO DETER EVEN THE STRONGEST OF WILL- BUT DON'T FORGET THE FEELING THAT COMES WHEN YOU OPEN A CARD AND SEE THE NAME OF SOMEONE YOU LOVE.

NEVER, EVER, EVER, UNDERESTIMATE THAT POWER THAT A CHEERFUL WORD, COMPLIMENT, OR GREETING HAS.

DON'T RUSH TOO QUICKLY THROUGH THE DAY THAT YOU DON'T LEAVE A NOTE ON SOMEONE'S BLOG, OR QUICKLY RESPOND THANK YOU TO THE RECIPE YOUR SISTER SENT.

NEVER NEGLECT THE SINCERITY OF CORRESPONDENCE BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT CAN MAKE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE.

SINCERELY,

MRS. PUGMIRE

COMING HOME

EVERY SUNDAY AFTER CHURCH, BJ AND I QUICKLY RUN HOME TO CHANGE WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO PARK THE CAR IN ITS STALL. WE LEAVE IT CLOSE BY THE CURB TO INSURE A TIMELY GET A WAY. ONCE THE SABBATH DAY CLOTHES ARE REPLACED WITH SWEATPANTS TOO CASUAL FOR ANY OTHER OCCASION, WE MAKE THE SHORT DRIVE UP TO MY PARENT'S HOUSE. LUNCH, NAPS, AND OUR WEEKLY DOSE OF TV WATCHING IS ENJOYED HERE UNTIL IT'S TIME TO HELP WITH DINNER.

TODAY DIDN'T LOOK LIKE A REGULAR SUNDAY. WE GAZED THROUGH THE FOYER WINDOWS IN BETWEEN EACH OF THE HOUR BLOCKS TODAY AND SAW THE SAME THING EVERY TIME. RAIN.

AND NOW WHEN I LOOK OUT THE WINDOWS OF MY PARENT'S KITCHEN, I SEE THE SAME THING. MORE RAIN. BUT UP HERE- THAT RAIN IS APPRECIATED.

BECAUSE YOU SEE, AT MY PARENT'S HOUSE, THERE ARE THREE FIREPLACES.

ONE OF WHICH IS ALWAYS AGLOW IN THE WINTER MONTHS.

THERE ARE HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS THAT REMIND ME OF MY CHILDHOOD:

WATCHING HOCUS POCUS EVERY HALLOWEEN AT TESSA'S AS A PRE-TRICK-OR-TREATING RITUAL, CLAM CHOWDER COOKING ON THE STOVE AND FLUFFY ORANGE BREADBOWLS AWAITING THE CREAMY SLOSH OF SOUP, HALLE'S BIRTHDAY FESTIVITIES, HOMEMADE CARAMEL FOR APPLE DIPPING, FALL LEAVES OUTSIDE, AND THAT SUDDEN DROP IN TEMPERATURE THAT LENDS A VERY FITTING CHILL TO HALLOWEEN EVENING.

I REMEMBER THE HALLOWEEN IN EIGHTH GRADE WHEN A BOY THREW UP ON THE BUS ON THE WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL. I STILL REMEMBER CHILDREN LINED DOWN EACH SIDE OF THE BUS- HEADS HANGING OUT THE HORIZONTALLY HALF OPENED WINDOWS GULPING IN THE FRESH, NON-PUKE SMELLING AIR.

I REMEMBER SCONES HANDED OUT IN THE RIVER BOTTOMS, AND STEPHANIE BEING THE ONLY ONE OF OUR FRIENDS WHO EVER WORE HER COSTUME TO SCHOOL.

I REMEMBER HAUNTED HOUSES AND MY INSISTENT MOM FORCING ME TO COVER MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME WITH A WINTER COAT.

AND AS I'M UP HERE THIS CHILLY SUNDAY AFTERNOON, THE NOSTALGIA OF THE SEASON LAPS OVER ME AGAIN AND AGAIN. I SEE THE RAIN POUNDING ENDLESSLY DOWNWARD, DRENCHING THE GOLD FIRE LEAVES, AND YET, I FEEL INSANELY, AND PERFECTLY WARM.

WHEN I LOOK OUT THE WINDOW I'M AMAZED THAT ALMOST EVERY MEMORY IN MY LIFE UP TO THIS POINT WAS MADE WITH THIS HOME AS THE NUCLEUS.

AND HOW GLAD I AM THAT I CONTINUE TO RETURN HOME,

EVERY SUNDAY.

Listen to puggybear2008s Playlist

ME.

I'M GONNA HAVE A BABY.

ME.

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

CASSIE CAME INTO DANCE YESTERDAY AND SAID I LOOKED LIKE I WAS ON HAPPY PILLS. AND THEN SHE SAID, "AND THEN I THOUGHT....

AND SHE'S PREGNANT!"

"SHE'S PREGNANT RIGHT NOW."

AND I HOPE I LOOK LIKE THAT.

I HOPE I LOOK LIKE I'M ON HAPPY PILLS, 'CAUSE BEING BLESSED WITH THE INSANELY INCREDIBLE ABILITY TO CREATE, AND GIVE BIRTH TO, AND MOTHER A CHILD FRESH FROM HEAVEN IS THE FREAKIN' COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD.

AND I FEEL HAPPY.

I FEEL SO HAPPY.

AND I FEEL SO BLESSED THAT IN THE FIRST MONTH OF TRYING, WE GOT PREGNANT.

AND I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN, A WEEK AND A HALF AGO, A DOCTOR SHOWED US OUR TINY BABY IN MY STOMACH.

AND IT WAS MOVING.

IT WAS KICKING AND WIGGLING ITS TINY, TINY LITTLE ARM BUDS.

AND THAT BABY'S MINE.

THAT BABY'S DEFINITELY MINE, CAUSE NO CHILD OF BJ'S WOULD EVEN THINK ABOUT SITTING STILL.

ME.

I'M GONNA BE A MOM.

I REMEMBER DRIVING HOME FROM WASATCH DANCE CENTER ONE NIGHT AND CRYING IN THE CAR- CAUSE I KNEW. I KNEW THAT MY MAIN PURPOSE IN BEING HERE ON THIS EARTH IS SO THAT I CAN BE A MOTHER.

AND IT'S GONNA BE SO HARD.

IT'S GONNA BE SO HARD AND I'M SCARED FOR THE DAYS WHEN I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT A GOOD MOTHER.

CAUSE THIS IS WHAT I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. IT'S WHAT I'VE WANTED ALWAYS- MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

I REMEMBER THE NIGHT I WON OUTSTANDING DANCER AT NYCDA NATIONALS AND SOME CAMERA MAN CAME UP TO INTERVIEW ME AFTER THE AWARDS.

HE ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED TO DO WITH DANCE WHEN I WAS OLDER- WANTING SOME ANSWER ABOUT HOW THIS WAS THE GREATEST SPRINGBOARD INTO A SUCCESSFUL DANCE CAREER THAT I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR.

AND MY ANSWER WAS, "WELL, ACTUALLY- I JUST WANT TO BE A MOM."

I WAS SIXTEEN.

I KNEW.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF THOSE GIRLS THAT DREAMS ABOUT THE NEXT PHASE OF LIFE. I THINK THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS HAD A SERIOUS BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL. I KNEW I WANTED TO BE MARRIED. I KNEW I WASD MISSING OUT SINCE I WASN'T MARRIED. AND I ALWAYS KNEW THAT 

-MOTHERHOOD-

THAT'S WHAT I WANTED.

AND HERE IT COMES.

I CAN'T WAIT.

THE THOUGHT OF NEXT SUMMER IS INTOXICATING.

THE THOUGHT OF HAVING A BABY WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO. THE THOUGHT OF STAYING HOME- AND BEING THE ONE THING THAT BABY ALWAYS NEEDS.

AND THE THOUGHT OF DOING ANYTHING TO MAKE MYSELF MORE LIKE MY MOM, OR JALAYNE, OR ALL OF MY SISTERS THAT I LOVE, OR MY GRANDMAS, OR MY FRIEND MCKENZIE IS AN APPEALING ENOUGH MOTIVATION ALONE TO HAVE A BABY.

A DIRECT QUOTATION FROM MY JOURNAL WHEN I WAS IN FIRST GRADE READS:

"I LOVE TO COLOR. I MIGHT BE A ERDEST WHEN I GROW UP! UOR I MIGHT BE SHAMOS UNRER AT SEA WLOUD. UOR I'LL JUST BE A MOM. AND I'LL BE A GOOD ONE TOO! MOM IS GOOD TOO. BUT ALL STILL BE NEURMEL. I'LL BE GOOD."- ME, AGE 6, MAY 1994

I KNEW.

I STILL KNOW.

A MOM IS WHAT I WANT TO BE. I AM JUST SO HAPPY IT'S WHAT I'M GONNA BE.

A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP

I THINK ONE OF THE GREATEST TENDER MERCIES IN OUR LIFE IS THE ABILITY AND BLESSING OF SLEEPING EVERY NIGHT. I'M AMAZED THAT NOT ONE BAD DAY IN MY LIFE COULD NOT BE IMPROVED BY A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. YESTERDAY WAS A GOOD DAY- MONDAY WAS NOT. AND IT WAS ALL THANKS TO A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP ON MONDAY NIGHT. I WOKE UP FEELING LIKE A NEW PERSON YESTERDAY MORNING, AND HOW GRATEFUL I WAS.

I BETTER ENJOY IT WHILE I CAN, BECAUSE HEAVEN KNOWS THE UNDISTURBED, CONTINUOUS HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP IS NOT GOING TO LAST LONG.

AND I'M AFRAID THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY. HOPEFULLY SOMETHING INCREDIBLY INSPIRATIONAL WILL HAPPEN TODAY THAT I CAN REPORT ON TOMORROW. BUT TILL THEN, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND ENJOY A HEALTHY DOSE OF SLEEP TODAY.

MAYBE ANOTHER TIME I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAILY NAPS. HEY... EINSTEIN WAS A NAPPER.

BACK TO THE GRIND

IT'S ALWAYS A DIFFICULT TO RETURN TO WORK AFTER A BREAK- NO MATTER HOW SHORT OR LONG.  TODAY WAS EXACTLY THAT. ALTHOUGH, I WOULDN'T USE THE WORD DIFFICULT TO DESCRIBE THE WAY TODAY FELT, AS MUCH AS I WOULD USE THE WORD... UNCOMFORTABLE. MONDAYS INEVITABLY FEEL FRAZZLED, NO MATTER HOW PREPARED FOR THE WORK WEEK I THINK I AM. IT'S LIKE STARTING A NEW SCHOOL YEAR AFTER A SUMMER OF VACATION AND LOUNGING. IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE. THE ONE PERK TO A STRESS FILLED WORK DAY IS THIS....

HOME. HOME IS SO DESIRABLE AFTER A DAY LIKE THIS. NOW I GET TO POSTPONE THE STRESS FOR FIFTEEN HOURS UNTIL I HAVE TO BE BACK HERE AGAIN. THANK HEAVEN FOR HOME. MY HEART SINGS THERE. SEE YOU SOON BJ.

UP A ROAD SLOWLY

TODAY BJ AND I DECIDED TO TAKE A DRIVE IN MY DAD'S JEEP UP TO CASCADE SPRINGS. THE GOLDEN LEAVES SEEMED TRIUMPHANT AGAINST THE RUGGED MOUNTAIN LANDSCAPE. INDEED, IT WAS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD.

LIVING IN UTAH IS A GREAT BLESSING. THE ASSORTMENT OF LANDSCAPE IN THIS STATE IS UNMATCHED. I LOVE LIVING IN UTAH, AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE LIVING TEN MINUTES FROM THE MOUTH OF PROVO CANYON BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT AWAITS A FEW MILES UP THE ROAD...

SUNDANCE. SUNDANCE IS WHAT AWAITS. POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE PLACE ON EARTH, MY HEART SINGS WHEN I AM AT SUNDANCE. TO ME, EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS PERFECT. FIRSTLY, THE DRIVE UP THE MOUNTAIN. IN ANY SEASON THE DRIVE ALONE IS WORTH THE TRIP TO SUNDANCE. CAN EYEBALLS SALIVATE- CAUSE? CAUSE I SWEAR MINE DO. SECONDLY, THE PICTURESQUE SETTING OF SUNDANCE, NESTLED AWAY IN A LITTLE CANYON WITH SURROUNDING RIVERS AND STREAMS. THE MOUNTAINS SURROUND THE RESORT LIKE A PROTECTIVE FORTRESS AND THE ASPEN LEAVES QUAKE GENTLY ON ALL SIDES. AND IN ADDITION TO ALL OF THIS, IT ONLY GETS BETTER WHEN YOU STEP INTO THE SUNDANCE GENERAL STORE, FOUNDRY GRILL, TREE ROOM OR BETTER YET, OUR HONEYMOON AND ANNIVERSARY CABINS TUCKED DISCRETELY AWAY BEHIND WINDING TRAILS AND TALL TREES. AND I WON'T EVEN TOUCH ON THE SUNDANCE SPA, EXCEPT TO SAY- IT WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE LAST YEAR THAT I ACTUALLY EARNESTLY CONSIDERED A NEW CAREER PATHWAY OF MASSAGE THERAPY, SIMPLY SO I COULD HAVE A REASON TO BE THERE EVERY DAY.

 BJ AND I MET AT THE MAGLEBY'S CABIN AT SUNDANCE. WE HAD OUR THIRD DATE POST-MISSION AT SUNDANCE. WE HAD OUR WEDDING RECEPTION THERE, AND I HAVE A SUSPICIOUS INCLINATION THAT WE WILL CONTINUE TO VISIT SUNDANCE THROUGHOUT THE REMAINDER OF OUR LIVES. SUNDANCE IS PROBABLY THE GREATEST THERAPEUTIC SERVICE UTAH HAS TO OFFER- AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO VISIT THE SPA TO FEEL THE RELAXATION AND GRATITUDE. EVERYTHING AT SUNDANCE IS SO BEAUTIFUL- YOUR HEART WILL BE HEALED. NATURALLY.

.............................................................................

AND IF YOU'VE NEVER SKIIED AT SUNDANCE THE WAY MY DAD TAUGHT ME GROWING UP- YOU REALLY HAVE NEVER SKIIED BEFORE. A SKI DAY AT SUNDACE GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS. ARRIVE AT RESORT AROUND 9:00 AM. HEAD TO BACK MOUNTAIN AND PROCEED WITH 2-3 RUNS. TAKE A REST IN THE CABIN ATOP BISHOP'S BOWL FOR SOME HOT CHOCOLATE AND FIRE-WARMING TIME. CONTINUE ON SKIING -ABOUT 3 RUNS- THE THIRD TIME CONTINUING TO THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL FOR LUNCH AT THE GRILL ROOM. AFTER LUNCH, GRAB A COOKIE TO GO FOR THE SKI LIFT RIDE UP THE MOUNTAIN. FINISH THE DAY WITH ROUGHLY 2 MORE RUNS AND HEAD HOME AROUND 3:00. WALLAH. PURE HEAVEN.

YOU KNOW THE CHURCH HYMN "HOME CAN BE A HEAVEN ON EARTH"?

WELL I THINK SUNDACE CAN BE A HEAVEN ON EARTH. AND IT IS. IT IS MY HEAVEN.

THANK YOU ROBERT.