November 30, 2011

High Hopes

Sometimes I lie awake in bed at night, my ahead abuzz with brilliant thoughts and endless dreams. There are so many things that interest me and call for my attention every day- things that require time to practice and master. There are hobbies I want to persue, trades I want to learn, and books I want to read. I think about learning to bake bread and made-from-scratch cakes, about long lists of books I'd like to read, about pilates and yoga and dance and how I wish I could practice all of them consistently in their respective settings rather than at the foot of my bed with the door closed. There are things I want to sew, places I'd like to visit, parties I'd love to host, and creative ideas for decorating and organizing that seem really fun to attempt. The problem is, most days the only time I'm able to dedicate to these hopes and dreams is the 30 minutes it takes me lying in bed to fall asleep. Mothering is a full time job- even when you only have one baby to take care of.
I've found myself wondering lately how a mom finds any time for herself. My pilates dreams are shattered when I realize that I'd need to get a babysitter every single day just to take a simple one hour class at a  studio nearby.  My visions of fresh-baked bread wafting through my kitchen each afternoon are dashed because I'm lucky if I even get a legitimate dinner on the table. And my ambition to sew diminishes instantaneously when I wander around Joann's for an hour and a half looking for a silly point turner with a crying baby on my hip, yellow poop on my blouse, and extremely unhelpful employees. (This has happened twice now.)
BJ gave me a sewing machine for my birthday in August, and I opened the box for the first time yesterday. I have a couple projects in mind. We'll see if they ever get finished... or started for that matter.
My first project seems fairly simple: a checkbook cover.
Someday my projects may be a little more elaborate. (Probably when I'm 75 and all my kids are out on their own.)
If you know how to be a full time stay-at-home AND develop your talents... please leave me a helpful hint below... I could really use your advice.


  1. I have no helpful comments about being a mother and developing your talents, but I think that you can do it! Time is relative right? Well, you may not have time now, but in a few years, you may. Patience is key when trying to find time to do everything. I think this is one sacrifice that women make when they become mothers: putting their own needs/wants down for the good of others. My sister used to tell me that her only alone time was shower time. No one, not even her husband, was to bother her during shower time. Anyway...good luck. Dream big.

  2. Amen!!! And the saddest part is that the older Benjamin gets, (aka the less he sleep during the day and more energy he expends), I have found my "me" time occurs less and less! If you find the secret, pass it on! :) Looks like you're doing a great job with that beautiful girl, Ellery!