October 30, 2011

I'm a Mama. Wow.

Today I read several posts from the blog aniandmatttaylor.blogspot.com
I had never spent much time here before like I did today. As I read, I cried. I read some more, and cried again. And then did this a few more times. It made me ever more grateful for my darling little Ellie. She is a gift to us in every sense of the word. 
Quite literally now, my life is lived for someone else. I am at Ellie's beck and call nearly every minute of the day. Do you know how much power there is in that? I can't adequately express how grateful I feel to be Ellie's mother. I can't describe to you how genuinely I adore everything about my daughter. BJ and I are enchanted by her every day, every hour, every minute. 
It is so good to be a parent. It is so good to be a mother.
After a while I couldn't take the crying any longer and I ran to be by Ellie's side. I woke her from her nap to hold her and hug her, to feel her against my skin and to look into her eyes. She is magic. I held her and cried. I nursed her and cried. I recounted to BJ every story I had read about on Ani and Matt's blog and I cried again.
I have a little girl. I have a little girl that is perfect to me. And I am so blessed that my every purpose of every day now is to be her mother.
I had some cooking to do today for another Halloween party we were helping with. Ellie sat in her chair watching me for a few minutes and then she started fussing. This time I didn't try to distract her with another gadget or toy. This time I strapped on my sling and held her close to me while I chopped and stirred. I let her nibble on crumb-sized ingredients and smell the spices I added to the soup. She was my little sous chef and we both loved it. This is her reaching for the soup as I mixed it. It looked colorful and smelled nice. It was fun to see her reaction to each move I made. She was enthralled.
I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her.
Thank you Ellie for coming to me.

1 comment:

  1. I find myself doing this same thing. I'll go in at 1 in the morning and wake up Asher just because I want to smell him and hold him. Some moms would think I'm crazy to wake my baby up but luckily I find myself so grateful for a baby that I want to take advantage of every second that I can! Love your pictures. So adorable!