I felt a confidence in myself today that I haven't felt in a long time.
I'm a stay at home mom now, and I've experienced a shift in my identity. Everything I do, every single day, revolves around my baby. It's been hard to not feel melancholy when BJ gets home from work and asks me what I did that day, because most the time it includes a list of a few minute accomplishments mingled in with a whole lot of...
"What did I do today?"
That baby manages to gobble up a whole lot of my time.
Today the surge of confidence came when I was doing the silliest thing: editing a song on GarageBand for a dance I'm choreographing for the Young Women in the ward. I was in my element then... cutting music, and toying with several choreographic ideas in my head. It didn't matter that the dance I was planning will never be showcased on a stage in New York City. It didn't matter that the dance will be performed by non-dancers and viewed by only a handful of moms and dads. Dance is what I do. It's the language that I feel confident in. It's the talent I've been given that resonates with my well being every single time I do it. I love to dance. I love to teach dance. I love to choreograph dances whether they be insignificant or important.
Sometimes I harbor fear because of the fact that I haven't taken a formal class in years. Sometimes I feel nervous that people will be critical of the work that I do. But every time I teach someone even a little bit about dance... I feel a little more alive, a little more o.k. with everything that's going on in my life.
"We have a responsibility to develop the talents we have been given. Sometimes we think we do not have many talents or that other people have been blessed with more abilities than we possess. Sometimes we do not use our talents because we are afraid that we might fail or be criticized by others. We should not hide our talents. We should use them. Then others can see our good works and glorify our Heavenly Father."
-Gospel Principles manual (Developing Our Talents)