I felt a confidence in myself today that I haven't felt in a long time.
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I'm a stay at home mom now, and I've experienced a shift in my identity. Everything I do, every single day, revolves around my baby. It's been hard to not feel melancholy when BJ gets home from work and asks me what I did that day, because most the time it includes a list of a few minute accomplishments mingled in with a whole lot of...
"What did I do today?"
That baby manages to gobble up a whole lot of my time.
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Today the surge of confidence came when I was doing the silliest thing: editing a song on GarageBand for a dance I'm choreographing for the Young Women in the ward. I was in my element then... cutting music, and toying with several choreographic ideas in my head. It didn't matter that the dance I was planning will never be showcased on a stage in New York City. It didn't matter that the dance will be performed by non-dancers and viewed by only a handful of moms and dads. Dance is what I do. It's the language that I feel confident in. It's the talent I've been given that resonates with my well being every single time I do it. I love to dance. I love to teach dance. I love to choreograph dances whether they be insignificant or important.
Sometimes I harbor fear because of the fact that I haven't taken a formal class in years. Sometimes I feel nervous that people will be critical of the work that I do. But every time I teach someone even a little bit about dance... I feel a little more alive, a little more o.k. with everything that's going on in my life.
"We have a responsibility to develop the talents we have been given. Sometimes we think we do not have many talents or that other people have been blessed with more abilities than we possess. Sometimes we do not use our talents because we are afraid that we might fail or be criticized by others. We should not hide our talents. We should use them. Then others can see our good works and glorify our Heavenly Father."
-Gospel Principles manual (Developing Our Talents)
yes!!! i love this post. i needed to hear that. and please tell me what piece this picture is of you?
ReplyDeleteEllery,
ReplyDeleteHello! how are you? Your little girl is SO cute. And you all look so good and happy. Sydney's bows- I make them. They are SOOO easy, you can't even believe it. I will tell you how to make them, or you know what, just give me your address and ill send some to you. And then, once you can see them, it is super easy to figure out how to make them. If you have any questions you can just call me. Just email me your address - pena.courtney@gmail.com
Hope all is perfect in CA!
xoxo
Mare- this picture was from a piece that i was in my first semester at the u- which, by the way- bj happened to attend. it was love at first grand pas de chat. xoxo
ReplyDeleteElle -- I miss you. You always know just what to say about dance still being apart of our lives. Thanks lady!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that you ever feel insecure about your talent. I will always think that you are the most incredible dancer that has ever lived. Anytime I watch good dancers I think, Elle would do that better. I'll always be one of your biggest fans. Not just dancing, but in everything. I love you, Little Sis.
ReplyDeleteI love you! This picture brought tears to my eyes. You're a beautiful girl in every way, Elle! Indeed I have to say that some of the most breathtaking and awe-inspiring moments of your life are when you're dancing. You have been given a precious gift and I'm so thankful you find joy in using it. I miss you so much, baby sis! Kiss your sweet baby's face for each of us. HUGS!!
ReplyDelete