WHERE WE'RE MEANT TO BE

TODAY I OPENED MY "DANCE TEACHER" MAGAZINE AND BROWSED QUICKLY THROUGH THE PAGES. MY HEART FROZE WHEN I CAME TO A PICTURE OF A BEAUTIFUL BALLERINA- ARMS STUNNINGLY EXTENDED BEHIND HER, A DEEP LUNGE WITH FRONT FOOT TURNED OUT IN FORCED ARCH, AND HANDS AND POSTURE THAT ONLY A TRULY CRAFTED AND TRAINED DANCER COULD HAVE.

I SEARCHED FOR A NAME AND FOUND ONE I KNEW:

WHITNEY JENSEN.

OH, OF COURSE.

WHITNEY JENSEN. GORGEOUS. BLONDE. GROWN UP NOW- WHITNEY JENSEN.

I DANCED WITH WHITNEY FOR A FEW YEARS AT CENTER STAGE. SHE WAS YOUNGER THAN I WAS, SHE WAS EXTREMELY TALENTED AND SHE MOVED TO NEW YORK CITY WHEN SHE WAS 13 TO TRAIN EXCLUSIVELY WITH A FORMER RUSSIAN BALLERINA.

SHE NOW DANCES WITH BOSTON BALLET.

THE JUXTAPOSITION OF MINE AND WHITNEY'S LIVES ARE ALMOST LAUGHABLE NOW.

IN MY CURIOUSITY- I GOOGLED WHITNEY'S NAME AND READ ABOUT HER: AWARDS SHE HAD WON, HER FEELINGS ABOUT TRAINING PRIVATELY, HOW COMPETITIONS KEEP HER MOTIVATED, WHO INSPIRES HER, AND HER PERFECTLY MAPPED OUT DAILY SCHEDULE FILLED WITH ONLINE CLASSES AND BALLET PRIVATES, COMPANY CLASSES AND REHEARSALS.

SHE LIVES THE LIFE I THOUGHT I WOULD LIVE. NOT THE CLASSICAL BALLET PART- BUT THE DANCE FILLING HER LIFE PART. ONCE UPON A TIME, 99% OF MY ENERGY, PASSION, AND DESIRE CHANNELED TO ONE THING ONLY. THAT WAS DANCE.

I SEE FRIENDS THAT I GREW UP DANCING WITH, THAT I ACTUALLY STOOD NEXT TO IN CLASS, THAT I COMPETED AGAINST AND BEAT, THAT I LEARNED WITH, AND TRAVELED WITH, AND DEMONSTRATED WITH- NOW FAMOUS.

NOW COMPLETELY, SUCCESSFULLY TREADING THEIR PATH IN THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD OF DANCE.

AND WHAT A WONDER IT IS.

AS I LIVE IN OREM UTAH, AS I GO TO REAL SALT LAKE GAMES, AND BYU SOCCER GAMES, AND LITTLE KID SOCCER GAMES OF WHICH THERE ARE NO CHILDREN I ACTUALLY KNOW, JUST CHILDREN MY HUSBAND COACHES. AND AS I JOURNEY OUT ON VACATIONS WITH MY FAMILY, AND PLAY IN THE STREET AT NIGHT, AS I GO ON DAILY WALKS- MEANDERING DOWN STREETS OF HOUSES I LIKE. AS I COOK MEALS FOR MY HUSBAND, AND DECORATE A HOUSE I LOVE, AND CONTINUALLY RETURN TO THE GROCERY STORE DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY.

AS I TEACH CHILDREN THAT HAD NEVER DANCED TIL I CAME TO THEIR SCHOOL. AS I TEACH DANCERS AT CENTER STAGE WHO ARE INCREDIBLE AND I REMINISCE ABOUT WHAT IT USED TO BE LIKE WHEN I DID THAT- WHEN I WAS IN THEIR SHOES. DANCING.

AND NOW THINGS ARE DIFFERENT. NOW I'M NOT LIVING THAT LIFE THAT A LOT OF MY FRIENDS ARE LIVING. AND THERE WAS A PERIOD OF TIME WHERE I HAD TO ADJUST TO THE WHOLE- DANCE DOESN'T DEFINE MY LIFE ANYMORE- MENTALITY. AND IT WAS HARD.

BUT NOW IT'S SO SWEET.

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN, COMPETING IN PORTLAND ONE WEEKEND. I MET AND BRIEFLY TRAINED WITH A FORMER PROFESSIONAL BALLERINA. SHE TOLD ME ABOUT HER CAREER AS A DANCER AND HOW JUST AS IT STARTED TO FLOURISH, SHE DECIDED TO QUIT.

AND SHE DID, COLD TURKEY, QUIT.

AND I REMEMBER HER SAYING THAT SUDDENLY A NEW WORLD OPENED UP TO HER. A WORLD WHERE SHE ACTUALLY HAD TIME TO SOCIALIZE, AND TO SKI, AND DEVELOP HERSELF IN OTHER AREAS BESIDES DANCING.

I'M NOT ABOUT TO SAY THAT MY FRIENDS THAT ARE DANCING AREN'T LIVING A FULL LIFE. I'M NOT GOING TO SAY THAT THEY'RE MISSING OUT- CAUSE THERE IS AN UNBELIEVABLE SATISFACTION THAT COMES WHEN YOU GIVE ALL OF YOURSELF TO SOMETHING YOU LOVE, AND WHEN YOU CONTINUE TO ENDURE IN THE PATH OF YOUR PASSION EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD.

BUT FOR ME, I WAS LIKE THAT BALLERINA. BALLERINA #2 THAT IS. I WAS LIKE THAT BALLERINA WHO FOUND A NEW WORLD.

A NEW WORLD FULL OF A COMMITED MARRIAGE, AND A DEDICATION TO MANY THINGS, NOT JUST DANCE: WORK, CHURCH, HOME, SELF, EXERCISE, FAMILY, PERSONAL INTEREST, FRIENDS, ETC. 

AND MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS NEW WORLD IS THAT IT INCLUDES SUCH RANDOM AND VARIOUS THINGS: 

THINGS LIKE BIRTHDAY PARTIES, AND BRIDAL SHOWERS, WHIFFLE BALL GAMES IN THE BACKYARD, BIG WHEEL RIDES IN THE STREET, TRIPS TO THE BEACH, DINNER WITH FRIENDS, MEALS FOR NEIGHBORS, RELIEF SOCIETY ACTIVITIES, AND LONG WALKS.

THERE IS SO MUCH OF GOOD IN LIFE. SO MUCH THAT IS OURS TO BE ENJOYED. AND WE CAN DIVE FACE FIRST INTO AREAS WE LOVE AND SIT THERE AND STAY A WHILE, OR WE CAN SAMPLE AND TEST AND DIP INTO EACH CATEGORY WE FIND. LIFE IS OURS FOR THE TAKING- WHICHEVER WAY WE WANT IT.

I FEEL THAT IN THIS WORLD, I AM WHERE I'M MEANT TO BE. AND ALTHOUGH IT'S NOT COMPLETELY WHAT I IMAGINED IN MY YOUNG, DANCE DEVOTED MIND, NOW THAT I'M HERE, I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE ANYWHERE ELSE.