I like to cook for my husband. I do. I like to cook in general, and it just so happens that my husband would be hopelessly hungry and skinny if I didn't cook for him. (BJ has a way of getting what he wants- in a very non-creepy, non-male-chauvinistic way- from the women around him. His mom started the trend... his sisters gave in a time or two... I came along... and now even my mom makes him sandwiches and guacamole and always makes sure there are goldfish and gatorades in the house for him.) BJ has a very childlike nature and has such an endearing personality about him that all of sudden, in all your effort to help him grow up and thrive independently like a big 25 year-old man...
You find yourself doing menial tasks for him that he could so easily (and should so easily) do for himself. Like: packing him a lunch every day for work, bringing him a glass of chocolate milk in bed at night, cleaning out his closet time and time again, and pulling off his cowboy boots for him at the end of the day. I say this all because I know I blog a lot about cooking for my husband, but it should be known...
I am not a perfect wife.
Now, this goes without saying that I try very hard to be a wonderful wife because my husband treats me well, he is a good man, and he deserves that, but alas, I am definitely not perfect.
I believe in old fashioned male and female roles to some extent. I have a great, big opinion about staying in the home now that I'm a mom, so I think it's only fair that if my husband agrees to work hard every day and bring home money for our family, then I should be willing to pull my side of the load by keeping house, and cooking. That, and the fact that being a homemaker is all I've always wanted to do.
My greatest fear about having children was that mine and BJ's relationship would suffer. I didn't want us to grow apart. I knew I was gonna put a lot of effort, energy, time, and attention into raising our children, and I didn't want to lose the closeness that BJ and I had with each other.
All my life my dad has said "I love you" innumerably to me. There wasn't a day that went by growing up that I didn't hear those words from him. I remember being absolutely offended one day when my dad admitted that he loved my mom more than he loved me. "What???!!!!" I was outraged! But then I thought about it... and reason began to settle. I learned a great lesson from my dad that day.
Children have a parent's heart in a way that is indescribable. But the relationship between a husband and wife is the most important relationship to cultivate in a family. Children must come second.
Perhaps this is why I spend so much of time preparing meals for BJ. I want him to feel that my entire day is not solely devoted to Ellie. Men are simple creatures and really only want a few things. They want to be fed, they want be praised (even if just in subtle ways- i.e. BJ prefers my time to verbal affirmation,) and they want lovin'.
I am not a perfect wife, but I try every single day to be a great one.
BJ needs a woman to feed him, and I'm sure as heck gonna make sure that I'm that woman.